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Hello again, parents. This is Mindi Green and I have a heart check episode today that I wanted to share with you. And I wanted to ask the question, who are you listening to for advice? As parents, I hear a lot from parents how they’ve read this article or they’ve heard this podcast or their friend told them some advice on their child. And sometimes I’m encouraged because it is good counsel that they received. But many times I’m saddened because it sounds like worldly counsel. And so I’m wanting to ask you as parents, who do you go to first when you need counsel? And my encouragement to you, my, my counsel to you today would be, God should always be your first source of wisdom and help. And as we’ve said in other episodes, our hearts need to be completely in 100% dependent on the Lord. And so are you going to him asking him for wisdom about the issues with your children, how to raise them, how to love them, how to teach them and train them. Are you going there first?

LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE

Are you going there first? Are you seeking his word first? Are you spending time in your quiet times working through the these parental concerns with the Lord? First, here’s a verse that is helpful for that, that speaks to that. It’s 2 Timothy 3:16-17. It says,

“All scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for re proof, for correction, and for training in righteousness that the man of God may be complete equipped for every good work.”

So that should give us confidence that God’s purpose for his word is going to help us in every area of our lives. It’s going to help us to know how to teach our children. It’s going to help us to know how to correct them in things, how to encourage them and lead them and train them in righteousness. It is God’s plan and purpose in guiding us in how to live our lives.

So we know that it’s God’s purpose and desire for us to use his word to raise and lead our children. Another important truth that we learn through God’s word is that we as believers have the Holy Spirit within us. And he is the one who will be leading us in guiding us in this. John 16: 13-14 says,

“When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth. For He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears, He will speak and He will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify Me for, He will take what is Mine and declare it to you.”

So, we as parents need to just become inhabit of speaking to the Lord and ask him, show me through your Holy Spirit what I need to do. Guide me, counsel me, teach me of how I need to love my child.

Raise them, teach them, train them. God loves it when we’re completely dependent on him and he loves it when we seek him because that’s what he is wanting to do. He’s wanting to guide us. He’s wanting to live his life through us. So as we take advantage of what he’s wanting us to do, we will find that he is leading us more and more in that way, especially if you have been in the habit of going to outside sources. First off, to find your counsel, I was talking to a friend the other day and she was telling me of some struggles she was having with her young son. And she was saying, I was reading up on his stage of life and what he was going through, and it comforted me because I realized that what he’s going through and his behavior is, is what all children at his age go through, which is true.

Many psychologists have done studies on that. And it’s comforting to know that you’re not the only one going through that. But many times those studies don’t say, but this is how God would want you to teach your child to obey you, even though it’s their tendency to act out at this age in life. And the danger in going to those psychological counsels that we might find in books or podcast is that after we hear what the reality is of our child’s stage, we forget to go to the scripture and say, okay, God, in light of the fact that my child is going through this stage that all kids go through, how am I supposed to train them to be like you? How am I supposed to train them to love you, to fear you? So that’s why our first place we go to needs to be scripture so God can shape our minds to know how to shape our children’s minds.

Seeking out godly counsel and godly individuals and good examples is very important. We do need to do that, but I would say secondarily we should do that. Here’s a verse that’s good for that. Proverbs 15:22,

“Without counsel, plans fail, but with many advisors, they succeed.

So yes, find those people who are good examples. Find those podcasts, those blogs, those teachers and pastors who you can really trust to lead you in God’s ways and learn from them. But also ask the Lord, who should I go to ask this question that I’m struggling with my teenage child or my two year old who’s throwing tantrums? Who do I need to ask to help me with that Lord? Show me? And so in doing that, do you see how your dependence is on the Lord? It’s not on the council of men. First off, you also need to be aware of unwise counsel.

Just because someone is an expert, just because they’re a child psychologist or even a Christian psychologist, you need to be aware because those experts are going to school studying worldly tests and scientific programs that have been laid out to come to certain conclusions. Many times the conclusions I come to are accurate, but the spirit is not in it. There’s not a spiritual leading another side to it. So you can gain great insight and wisdom when you learn from those experts, but you need to combine it with God’s word and his truth to know how to raise your children. I think many times, ungodly counsel can cause us as parents to forget to teach the heart of God because those kinds of worldly counsels are not thinking of the heart of God, obviously. And so the most important thing that we need to be teaching our children is what God thinks about them and about the world.

And you’re not going to get that from ungodly council. So the main point, and my main desire of what, what I want to communicate to you parents is be discerning. God will use outside resources, but they need to be ones that humbly point you to the bigger dependence on God and his wisdom and his ways, and where it will direct your children to think of God. So as you seek to be dependent on the Lord, to seek his counsel, God will be faithful to give you counsel. If you ask for wisdom, he will give it generously and it will grow your confidence and your boldness also in the Lord as you are learning to depend more and more on Him. And who knows, one of these days you might be able to give Godly counsel to your friend.

So let me just end this Heart Check in praying for us and seeking the Lord for his wisdom and our days of parenting our children.

Lord, thank you so much for your wisdom. Thank you that your word is all that we need, and you do want us to seek your counsel. You also want us to seek the council of other Godly people. But good counsel is only from your word, and we just ask that you will help us, father, to have that dependence first and foremost on you and on your Holy Spirit to lead and guide us in Jesus name, Amen.

Episode Transcript (click to open)

DOWNLOAD THIS TRANSCRIPT HERE

HEART CHECK: WHO ARE YOU LISTENING TO?

Hello again, parents. This is Mindi Green and I have a heart check episode today that I wanted to share with you. And I wanted to ask the question, who are you listening to for advice? As parents, I hear a lot from parents how they’ve read this article or they’ve heard this podcast or their friend told them some advice on their child. And sometimes I’m encouraged because it is good counsel that they received. But many times I’m saddened because it sounds like worldly counsel. And so I’m wanting to ask you as parents, who do you go to first when you need counsel? And my encouragement to you, my, my counsel to you today would be, God should always be your first source of wisdom and help. And as we’ve said in other episodes, our hearts need to be completely in 100% dependent on the Lord. And so are you going to him asking him for wisdom about the issues with your children, how to raise them, how to love them, how to teach them and train them.

Are you going there first? Are you seeking his word first? Are you spending time in your quiet times working through the these parental concerns with the Lord? First, here’s a verse that is helpful for that, that speaks to that. It’s 2 Timothy 3:16-17. It says,

“All scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for re proof, for correction, and for training in righteousness that the man of God may be complete equipped for every good work.”

So that should give us confidence that God’s purpose for his word is going to help us in every area of our lives. It’s going to help us to know how to teach our children. It’s going to help us to know how to correct them in things, how to encourage them and lead them and train them in righteousness. It is God’s plan and purpose in guiding us in how to live our lives.

So we know that it’s God’s purpose and desire for us to use his word to raise and lead our children. Another important truth that we learn through God’s word is that we as believers have the Holy Spirit within us. And he is the one who will be leading us in guiding us in this. John 16: 13-14 says,

“When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth. For He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears, He will speak and He will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify Me for, He will take what is Mine and declare it to you.”

So, we as parents need to just become inhabit of speaking to the Lord and ask him, show me through your Holy Spirit what I need to do. Guide me, counsel me, teach me of how I need to love my child.

Raise them, teach them, train them. God loves it when we’re completely dependent on him and he loves it when we seek him because that’s what he is wanting to do. He’s wanting to guide us. He’s wanting to live his life through us. So as we take advantage of what he’s wanting us to do, we will find that he is leading us more and more in that way, especially if you have been in the habit of going to outside sources. First off, to find your counsel, I was talking to a friend the other day and she was telling me of some struggles she was having with her young son. And she was saying, I was reading up on his stage of life and what he was going through, and it comforted me because I realized that what he’s going through and his behavior is, is what all children at his age go through, which is true.

Many psychologists have done studies on that. And it’s comforting to know that you’re not the only one going through that. But many times those studies don’t say, but this is how God would want you to teach your child to obey you, even though it’s their tendency to act out at this age in life. And the danger in going to those psychological counsels that we might find in books or podcast is that after we hear what the reality is of our child’s stage, we forget to go to the scripture and say, okay, God, in light of the fact that my child is going through this stage that all kids go through, how am I supposed to train them to be like you? How am I supposed to train them to love you, to fear you? So that’s why our first place we go to needs to be scripture so God can shape our minds to know how to shape our children’s minds.

Seeking out godly counsel and godly individuals and good examples is very important. We do need to do that, but I would say secondarily we should do that. Here’s a verse that’s good for that. Proverbs 15:22,

“Without counsel, plans fail, but with many advisors, they succeed.

So yes, find those people who are good examples. Find those podcasts, those blogs, those teachers and pastors who you can really trust to lead you in God’s ways and learn from them. But also ask the Lord, who should I go to ask this question that I’m struggling with my teenage child or my two year old who’s throwing tantrums? Who do I need to ask to help me with that Lord? Show me? And so in doing that, do you see how your dependence is on the Lord? It’s not on the council of men. First off, you also need to be aware of unwise counsel.

Just because someone is an expert, just because they’re a child psychologist or even a Christian psychologist, you need to be aware because those experts are going to school studying worldly tests and scientific programs that have been laid out to come to certain conclusions. Many times the conclusions I come to are accurate, but the spirit is not in it. There’s not a spiritual leading another side to it. So you can gain great insight and wisdom when you learn from those experts, but you need to combine it with God’s word and his truth to know how to raise your children. I think many times, ungodly counsel can cause us as parents to forget to teach the heart of God because those kinds of worldly counsels are not thinking of the heart of God, obviously. And so the most important thing that we need to be teaching our children is what God thinks about them and about the world.

And you’re not going to get that from ungodly council. So the main point, and my main desire of what, what I want to communicate to you parents is be discerning. God will use outside resources, but they need to be ones that humbly point you to the bigger dependence on God and his wisdom and his ways, and where it will direct your children to think of God. So as you seek to be dependent on the Lord, to seek his counsel, God will be faithful to give you counsel. If you ask for wisdom, he will give it generously and it will grow your confidence and your boldness also in the Lord as you are learning to depend more and more on Him. And who knows, one of these days you might be able to give Godly counsel to your friend.

So let me just end this Heart Check in praying for us and seeking the Lord for his wisdom and our days of parenting our children.

Lord, thank you so much for your wisdom. Thank you that your word is all that we need, and you do want us to seek your counsel. You also want us to seek the council of other Godly people. But good counsel is only from your word, and we just ask that you will help us, father, to have that dependence first and foremost on you and on your Holy Spirit to lead and guide us in Jesus name, Amen.

 

LISTENING SUGGESTIONS

MOM & DAD LISTEN SEPARATELY then set a weekly appointment to discuss what you’ve heard, pray about what God may want YOU to adjust or implement, then plan how you will do so.

LISTEN TOGETHER: Mom & Dad set a standing weekly date to listen together, pray over what you’ve heard, discuss, and strategize how to implement relevant things into your parenting.

SINGLE PARENTS: Make an appointment with God (and yourself) to listen, prayerfully consider how what you’ve heard fits your situation, and seek the Lord’s help for how to implement what you’ve learned.

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